Our Lasting Never End Love Story

I dreamed I was sleeping next to a big fat guy. It was a real shock when I woke up and he was gone.

Having Destroyed Their Car, They Must Float the Earth in a Canoe

I'm avoiding sleep. But I shouldn't do that, it's really necessary.

Luckily, She Had Bodyguards

I was in a house that Caleb Nichol blew up and that explosion killed 2 girls and 2 drag queens and my parents didn't care and I had a deaf 3 year old son and could only say "thank you" and "abortion" to him in sign and I had to lock myself in a basement with my best friend Britney Spears.

That's Human Nature For You, Even If You're A Penguin

I dreamed I convinced Elin to walk down to Mexico to get tacos with me and then I found a skeleton sleeping in the basement.

Curiousity Killed Everything

I've gone from having dreams about weird stuff like floating wedding receptions and vans with meat freezers, to just pure conscious wish fulfillment. Really. Everything I want in my life that I dont actually have comes to me when I sleep. It's pretty much torture.